The world to our eyes could be described in two ways. The first being that we have the whole world in front of us, we can choose what we want to do and where we want to live - we have so many options!
The second way being Ummmm, nobody wants us so I guess we'll live with Mom and Dad and frantically look for jobs.
So we are now going on the third month of living at my parents house, and the second month of frantically looking for jobs. Every week is a roller coaster of raised hopes, frustrating phone calls, feeling useless, and a whirlwind of options flying around in our heads.
We have mentally pictured our lives in a dozen different locations, depending on the week and scenario that looks most promising at the moment.
I am really sick of the clothes I've been wearing for the past 6 months and am dying to move out so I can wear all my clothes again! We are really ready for our own space, and to feel like adults with jobs and a house.
We have days or moments of depression, feeling like the hundreds of resume's and responses we've sent out have been received by a black hole. The rare rejection is exciting because it means somebody out there is listening and at least received the letter or resume.
It has been said that a missionary kid feels most at home in an airplane. Not only is this true, but in the smaller world of California, we feel most at home in our car! We are always driving to Redondo because it feels like home, or San Diego, because that is also a home. Orange County with my parents is also a home, and San Luis Obispo is always a nice home to visit. In a way, having so many homes makes me feel homeless. Now we are thinking of moving to San Clemente, because it is in between our parents houses, and we could work in either Orange County or San Diego, and maximize our connections. But in the back of my mind I also think, So am I going to find yet another place to get my hair cut and go out for tea? Are we going to find another church and another favorite evening walk? Am I going to give a piece of my heart to yet another location? I almost don't think I could handle it! But at the same time, I don't necessarily want to live in the other places I love.
Unemployment and homelessness is confusion and frustration. It's waiting and waiting while trying and trying. It's hopelessness followed by renewed resolve.
But it's not all horrible!
Jordi and I spend practically every day together! This in and of itself is much more fun than going through all this by yourself. Also, we definitely take advantage of the situation whenever we can. We ride our bikes to go play tennis. We walk to Starbucks on a Tuesday morning and use our cards we got for Christmas to order our tea and coffee, and chat for an hour before walking home. We drive to the beach and go surfing or ride bikes on the boardwalk. We take an hour to eat lunch and play scrabble. We'll decide at noon on a rainy day to go to the theatre and see a movie. We go to downtown Fullerton for jazz nights or happy hours. We do the Jillian Michaels work out DVD like every other day. We play ping pong so often that Jordi's becoming quite the menace! We go to Borders so often that I have read through an entire novel. We have learned a lot about gardening by helping my mom or Grandpa, and that's been really cool. We volunteered for Habitat for Humanity, and got free Disneyland tickets! We made scones and tea and played Backgammon while it rained. These moments are precious and I love them!
These are the rainbows in our uncertain life. When I look back at this not very easy period of life, I want to remember the good times we had in the midst, and we have lots of them!
